2022: Money makes the world go round
Qatar becomes a world player; Harry burns his bridges; Elon proves that genius and bat-shit crazy go hand in hand. Meanwhile in the Channel....
Argentina won the world cup. But the really big winners were FIFA and Qatar. FIFA’s president Gianni Infantino declared it “the best world cup ever”. The tarnished private entity that is the ringmaster of world football trousered a cool £6bn from the event.
Qatar meanwhile can claim the kudos for organising the most expensive sporting event in history (it spent an estimated £180bn on stadiums and infrastructure) without a hitch or even, it seems, a single drunken brawl. (No booze. FA take note.)
That, and whatever backhanders Qatar may (or may not) have handed out to host the competition, will be deemed cheap at the price in the emir’s palace in Doha. You have to hand it to them.
The outcry over the treatment of immigrant building workers has been drowned out by jubilation of a tumultuous final. So has the anger over the little Gulf state’s treatment of its LGBT community. Thousands of column inches of outrage later the caravan moves on.
How much, if any, of the profits from the beautiful game will go to helping the families of those workers who died building the string of colosseums in the desert where the Gods of football held the world in thrall?
A country barely the size of Yorkshire, Qatar has been playing giant monopoly to win friends and influence countries all over the world. Its worldwide holdings are reckoned to stand at around £320bn. Not quite as juicy as China’s £1 trillion belt and roads initiative. But impressive nevertheless.
Next desert autocracy with a dodgy human rights record to host a future world cup: Saudi Arabia?
Brothers estranged
The outpouring of bile, bombast and affectation over Harry and Meghan’s Netflix series has been predictably fatuous and, in some instances, deeply unpleasant. Hunting the royals is a blood sport and a pretty unedifying one at that. Nobody emerges with much credit.
In one corner you have dyed-in-the-wool monarchists choking over their cornflakes at the lèse-majesté. Bad-boy broadcaster Jeremy Clarkson, writing in the Sun, said he wanted to see Meghan “running naked down every high street in Britain pelted with excrement”. Which bit of his dark heart does that come from?
In the other corner are those who sympathise with a young couple who have had a pretty torrid time and chosen – rashly- to speak out perhaps burning their bridges. Who would want to speak to them now without worrying they’d feature in the next Netflix series?
This is not the first time that a royal fairy tale ends badly. The Firm has form. It does not tolerate outsiders who can’t or won’t conform. But ‘never complain and never explain’ is not a strategy for life. No great institution is immune to change. Even MacDonalds is rolling out vegan menus.
This inability to adapt is a critical weakness for an institution that sees itself as the keeper of the nation’s moral compass. Without Queen Elizabeth at the helm it will find it increasingly so. But Harry and Meghan were never going to change that.
Meghan Markle represented an opportunity to broaden the monarchy’s cultural reach both at home and among the Commonwealth of colour. A good rule in life is that, by and large, you make people responsible by giving them responsibility.
Harry and William will rue the day they allowed themselves to be estranged as brothers. That’s sad but far from uncommon. Envy, resentment, slights perceived or real, are the stuff of family feuds. For Harry and Meghan the sugar high will fade.
But you have to ask: with all those wise heads around the Queen why couldn’t this have been settled quietly? Was it that Meghan and Harry schemed to force a break on their own terms or worse for the Netflix schilling? Or did the palace, once again, turn an opportunity into an imagined threat that had to be neutered?
Strike that
The government is digging itself into a hole by refusing to sort out Britain’s industrial mess. After a whirlwind three years and more Prime Ministers than you can shake a picket’s poster at, it’s persuaded that hanging tough will turn public opinion against the unions who will then back down.
It’s an odd strategy for a government that has shut the country down three times during the pandemic, paid the wages of millions of workers and driven government debt to its highest level since the 1960s.
Unions may be weaker than they were in the 1970s. But they’re not irrelevant. Urging the nation to clap for nurses one minute and demonising them the next for making Vladimir Putin happy won’t wash.
Governing, by definition, means taking responsibility. And that is the one thing that these Tories, not even the barely-competent Rishi Sunak, seem able to do. Prepare to be bored by Sir Keir Starmer.
Chief Twit
Elon Musk (net worth north of £200bn) once said he wanted to die on Mars. Before that he wants to save the world from itself. He’s on a mission to save democracy, free speech and the ozone layer from fossil fuel pollution. He wants to move people in giant tubes from one continent to another and inhabit other planets.
Which is why he built Tesla, a rocket company and, more recently, bought Twitter. He’s allowed Donald Trump and Kanye West back on Twitter. He tried very hard to disprove the severity of the Coronovirus after it hit production at his Tesla factories. That didn’t go so well.
Now he wants the rest of us Twits to vote on whether he should stay or step down as CEO. The man needs love.
Musk thinks he’s a genius and there’s some evidence to support that: he’s a rocket scientist after all. But he is also, as Vanity Fair pointed out in 2020, ‘bat-shit crazy’. The rumour that he wanted to buy Manchester United turned out to be a joke. I do hope so.
People of 2022
My mum was a refugee. She was caught trying to flee Russian-occupied Poland in WWII and sent to a Soviet Gulag for two years. It broke her. I’m pretty sure she’d want to nominate all refugees from war, persecution, and famine as her choice for People of 2022. I’d second that.
With all the existential challenges facing the world, chief among them the climate, food and fresh water crises, it’s likely that refugees will take up many more annual ‘People of..’ honorifics in the years to come. It is though a lovely tribute to your mother and all that she endured.